Community Monitoring: The Dating DNA Community Decides Who to Reject

April 10, 2009

Some of you may be familiar with some of the early controversy with eHarmony’s acceptance practices.  eHarmony didn’t let just anyone join their site, and they “rejected” a good number of applicants.  Match.com jumped on this to poke fun at eHarmony with a series of commercials.  Many spoofs cropped up on YouTube about eHarmony’s policy of rejecting users.

I always thought it was a mistake for Match.com to poke fun at eHarmony for rejecting users. All this did was promote eHarmony and the fact that they didn’t let every weirdo on their site.  How is that a bad thing?  (Unless, of course, you’re a weirdo. =)  Match.com was PAYING to tell the world that eHarmony users were a cut above, since they weeded out all the nuts who Match.com welcomed in.  Something tells me eHarmony was grateful for the free advertising.

See this YouTube spoof to see what I’m talking about:


Anyone who has had ANY social interaction on the Internet knows there are some crazy people on the Internet. Fakes, frauds, spammers, porno peddlers, perverts, and just plane loons.  This is why I support eHarmony in their efforts to keep these people from their site.  The challenge for eHarmony, however, is that they have to play judge and jury as to who to boot and who to let in.  That’s a pretty heavy job for any one person or organization, and you have to spend time defending your decisions.

At Dating DNA, we too believe not just anyone should be part of our community here, but WE (employees at Dating DNA) have no desire to play judge and jury with who stays and who goes, so here at Dating DNA we let our community decide who to “reject.”

Throughout the website, we make it easy to “report” a user. For example, anytime you receive an email from a user, we provide a convenient link to quickly, with just a click or two, report the user for any number of reasons.  If enough users report the same user they are automatically deleted and sent the following email:

Subject:  Account Deleted

Your Dating DNA account has been automatically deleted based on feedback from the Dating DNA community.  Also, any messages you had sent have been deleted from the inbox of those you emailed.

The Dating DNA system allows users to flag others if they feel they are behaving in some inappropriate, offensive, fraudulent, or off-putting manner.  If enough users report the same user, the system automatically deletes that user’s account.

Users will report other users for any number of reasons, including things such as:

– Using profanity or offensive language in profiles, emails or on the Forums (The site and Forums are “G” rated)
– Posting nude, suggestive or offensive photos (Photos must be “G” rated)
– Posting a fake photo that’s not really you
– Indiscriminately emailing users who live in other countries or far away
– “Cheesy” of vulgar come-on lines, or over familiarity with people you’ve just met on the system
– Being under the age of 18
– Suspected fraud or scam
– Using the site to sell products or services
– Posting personal information, phone numbers, etc. on the Forums.
– Rude comments or behavior
– Or just plain creeping someone out

Regardless of the reasons, the bottom line is that you, in some way, offended enough of our users that your account has been deleted.

Because we are a free site, we are quick to allow the community to remove users who they find off putting.  We let our community decide who fits in and who doesn’t.

Dating DNA

It may seem harsh that we just automatically let the community delete users, without any warning or probation.  Yes, it IS harsh, but we have zero tolerance for people who try to disrupt our community. There are plenty of other places on the Internet for those who want to pull all the nonsense listed above.  Our requirements to be accepted here are pretty simple and straight forward:  be respectful, real and keep it clean, stuff anyone should have learned by 1st grade.  I think it’s a good thing for Dating DNA users to know that if they go around offending others in the community, that their account will automatically be deleted, along with their answers to the questionnaire, their Friends List, and all their emails.

I would encourage you to please report users who you feel have crossed the line.  You won’t be able to toss them on your own, it will take other users reporting the same person, but where there’s smoke there’s fire, so please add to a user’s black checks if you find them behaving inappropriately.  I think Dating DNA has done a good job of keeping our community free from the less desirable elements, by nipping them in the bud early and quickly.  Your help to continue to do that is appreciated.  This is YOUR site, so please help us keep it a comfortable place to spend time.

Oh, and Match.com, if you want to spend millions promoting the fact that Dating DNA rejects users, we’d welcome the help!

Kevin Carmony
Founder, Dating DNA
DNA# 123-456-789
(I intentionally keep my Threshold set at 1, so feel free to
add me to your strand and shoot me an email anytime.)